Wonder
by Jordon5
Summary: Tina always had a crush on Mike, she was so happy when he asked her out. Now she can't help but wonder when everything changed for the worst. Dark themes, some violence. Oneshot.


**(This is a story that wouldn't leave my head, I knew I had to write it out. I chose Tina and Mike because I just felt they were the best fit. This story contains very dark themes you have been warned. Also, my i key is half broken, so I'm very sorry for any errors. Please read and review. -Jordon)**

Tina pulled her small blue car into the deserted parking lot. She shut off the engine but remained seated. It was two o'clock in the morning. She should be in bed, in her house, asleep. Not in front of a convenience store in a small town thirty minutes from Lima. She should be dreaming about homework and glee, not on the verge of a mental breakdown. This shouldn't be happening to her. She was Tina Cohen-Chang, straight A student, tolerable mezzo, member of the decathlon team, halfway through her Junior year of high school. She had her whole life in front of her.

**Freshman year**

_Tina timidly watched him from her table in the cafeteria. He had never so much as spoken to her, had never really never had a reason to. But she had nursed a crush for him since grade school. He laughed with the guys from the football team and she sat mesmerized by his smile. _

_ She didn't have a chance with him. She was nerdy, shy, had a fake stutter, and dyed her hair as a slight sign of rebellion. He was athletic, smart, and popular. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they both were enrolled in honors classes, and they were both in Glee. But she wasn't sure why he was in it, she had never seen him sing, just sit there trying not to draw too much attention to himself._

_ He looked up from his hamburger and they made eye contact. She blushed furiously and dropped her gaze to her lap. How embarrassing! He probably thought she was some weird psycho. She sighed. The whole thought she was a gothic freak. She peeked up through her lashes, but Mike had stood up with the rest of the football team and were leaving the cafeteria. She wondered wistfully if I guy like that would ever like her._

Tina grabbed ahold of what little courage she had inside her and got out of the car. She pulled her coat tighter against her and bowed her head, hurrying through the glass double doors. Nodding shyly at the woman behind the counter she made her way through the aisles. Airheads, Nerd's Rope, and bubble gum in bright colored packages. Carmellos, Snickers, and Hershey's gleamed under the fluorescent lighting. Her eye's flitted over all the merchandise trying to find what she was looking for.

**Summer before Sophomore Year**

_Tina wanted desperately to be anywhere else in the world but here. Her parents had signed her up to counsel at a sleep away technology camp. They said it would make her socialize more and bring her out of her shell. She had been there five minutes and she could already feel a panic attack coming. She hated these stupid kids. She hated their stupid playboys and iPhones, and she hated her parents for making her be here. She would give anything to be with Kurt and Mercedes._

_ Then Mike walked in. Her heart fluttered. HE was the other counselor? Well… Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all._

_ They slowly got to know each other better. Turns out Mike didn't want to be there anymore than she did, but it was the only way his dad would pay for football camp. After they put all the little snotty brats in bed, they would lie outside on the grass, staring at the stars and talking about life. He learned about her fake stutter and the reasons behind her very odd appearance. She learned about his secret dance ambition and his strained relationship with his dad._

_ The first time they kissed… It was like the world exploded. When Mike leaned in Tina's stomach dropped to her knees and she couldn't breathe. His lips were so soft and he tasted like the cinnamon gum he was always chewing. It was like something out of a movie._

_ When he asked her to be his girlfriend at the end of the summer, she wondered how she had gotten so lucky._

Tina finally found the right aisle. She glanced around to make sure that no one was around then quickly grabbed a cardboard box off the shelf. She held it tightly to her body and scurried to the front counter. She slid her purchase across the counter, and the bored looking woman raised an eyebrow, then rang up Tina's purchase.

**Halfway through Sophomore Year**

_It had started out so simply. They were going to go to the movies. He was lying on her bed, tossing his keys in the air while she put the finishing touches on her make up._

_ "Tina I don't want to watch Dear John. It's stupid."_

_ She giggled. "Just because it's a chick flick doesn't mean it's stupid. Look I read the book, it's going to have some war scenes, you might like it." He scoffed and came and sat on the edge of her vanity. "What, are you afraid people will think you are less of a man for watching a Nicholas Sparks movie?" His face clouded over._

_ "What do you mean by that?"_

_ Tina frowned. "Mike I was just kidding."_

_ "Well I didn't think it was funny." Tina rolled her eyes and stood up to grab her purse from the back of the door. Mike grabbed her forearm and spun her to face him. Tina was shocked. Mike had never acted like this._

_ "Don't roll your eyes at me."_

_ "Well maybe you shouldn't be such a dick!" His hand connected with the side of her face before she had time to defend herself. Her cheek stung and for a second the world was awful blurry._

_ Then Mike was there. He held her and he started crying, saying over and over that he was so sorry. He explained that he had gotten into a fight with his dad earlier. She nodded and let him kiss away her tears._

_ He took her to see Dear John, and held her hand the entire time. She kept her eyes lock on the screen and wondered what she should do._

Tina mumbled a thank you and grabbed the box back. She turned on her heel and made her way to the back of the store, into the women's restroom. She locked the door behind her and placed the box on the sink. She yanked down her sweat pants and perched on the cold plastic seat. She ripped open the box and scanned through the instructions. She threw the box back onto the counter, the uncapped the stick, placing it between her legs.

**Summer before Junior Year**

_It had escalated faster than Tina could have ever anticipated. What had begun as a slap followed by tears and apologies from Mike, soon turned into shoves, punches, and kicks, followed by tears and apologies from Tina. She knew it was wrong and that she should tell someone, should break it off with Mike, but deep down she felt that she made him do it. If she would just behave and not make him angry, then he wouldn't hurt her._

_ They both were lying in Mike's back yard, soaking up the sunshine next to the pool. Soon they were kissing, then they were making out, then Tina's bikini was flung a couple feet way. It was getting serious, but when Mike's hand dipped into her bottoms, she gasped._

_ "Mike! No! I thought we were going to wait.. Your parents.." He kissed her hard on the mouth and used his spare hand to pull her hands above her head. _

_ He pulled away and stared deep into her eyes. "Don't you love me?" Tina was silent for a moment too long. He hit her across the face. "You little slut. You'll have sex with everyone but your boyfriend? We've been together for almost a year. And what do I have to show for it? Nothing." By this point he was standing and he kicked her hard in the stomach. Tina doubled over, coughing. Mike stalked into the house. Tina lay on the warm concrete, trying to stop crying. Eventually she pulled herself together, wrapped herself in a beach towel and followed Mike inside. She found him in the den, watching football. She stood in front of him and dropped her towel. She then hooked her fingers into her bottoms and pulled them down and stood in front of Mike completely naked, face tear stained._

_ She lost her virginity on the Chang's living room couch. Mike went slow and gentle, but as he tore through her hymen, she wondered how it had gotten to this point. _

Tina put the cap back onto the pregnancy test and placed it on the sink face down. She pulled her sweat pants back up and checked her phone. 2:16 am. She had three minutes before she would know her fate. She scrolled through her Facebook feed, trying to distract herself, but found herself staring at her background picture. It had been taken in Mike's car on the first day of school. They were both smiling and looked so damn happy. They looked perfect together. Then the timer went off. Tina stood up and grabbed the small plastic test.

**One week Ago**

_ She was late. And not in the, I must've been eating weird kind of way. She was 21 days late. She hadn't told anyone. What would they even say? Mike would be furious. Her parents and teachers would be disappointed. Kurt and Mercedes would be sympathetic but they had grown apart when Tina wasn't paying attention. The only person who could maybe halfway understand was Quinn, but even then, Tina would have to tell about the bruises. Or rather, their origins, their maker. And she couldn't. She couldn't tell anyone. _

_ She woke up and couldn't from the fatigue blanketed over her body. She was so tired. But all of a sudden she was hurtling towards her bathroom. The contents of her stomach flew into the porcelain bowl. She kept heaving and heaving, a layer of sweat forming on her skin. Her mom came into the bathroom and felt her forehead. Tina miserably choked out something about a stomach flu and her mom nodded and said she would call the school._

_ Tina eventually made her way back to her room, where she fell into a deep dreamless sleep._

_ She woke at 11 to a text from Mike, asking where she was. She told him the same lie as her mother and he sent back an angry reply about him probably getting it next. She turned off her phone and rolled onto her back. She wondered if there was a God, and if so, if he had any mercy._

A pink plus symbol stared back at Tina. She braced herself for the tears, but they didn't come. She threw the test in the trash and went back to her car. She sat there for a brief moment, staring at the moon. Then she put the car in gear and drove back to Lima. She snuck back into her room. She plugged in her curling iron and began to carefully do her make up. She grabbed the pretty dress she had bought to wear on Valentine 's Day and slipped it on. Then she sat down at her vanity, where this had all began, and curled her long dark hair.

When she was ready she climbed back through her window and began to walk. The wind stung her exposed face and arms but she either couldn't process the pain or accepted it indifferently. She finally reached her destination: the Lima water tower. She grabbed onto the sold metal ladder and began to climb. Hand over hand, the air getting colder with every foot she ascended. Finally she made it to the platform and turned to stare down at Lima, Ohio. From this vantage point she could her house, Kurt/Finn's house, the high school. Not Mike's house, interestingly enough. It was just out of sight. Tina carefully climber over the edge of the railing and stood, shivering in the icy wind.

One tear fell. She wondered if she was making the right decision. She wondered what Mike would say. She wondered if anyone would ever know the truth, if anyone would ever know why.

Then Tina Cohen-Chang let go of the railing and leaned back ever so slightly, letting gravity do the rest.

She fell 50 feet. She soared towards the ground, towards certain death.

And right before she hit the cold, hard pavement, Tina wondered if this is what it felt like to be free.

**(Read and Review)**


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